Saturday, January 24, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
After we finished our "charming" film of the Alphabets, we headed to the bathroom to wash up. We tried everything*: about three different kinds of soap and olive oil. We scrubbed our poor, suffering faces none too gently either. I loved mom's response when she walked in the door:
"Are you girls okay? You're eyes look really irritated." Bracie and I just looked at each other and laughed.
(*At our house, more than two people can be "everybody" and more than two things can be "everything.")
puffed by The Reluctant Dragon at 7:29 AM
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Alright, gentle readers, I am going to force, (whoops, I mean treat) you to watch another episode of the Latest to Today Show. So, uh, hang on to your seats.
A couple of things before you watch:
We officially apologize for the instruments: the flat piano and the sharp guitar. Our piano's sound board or whatever, (How would I know the anatomy of a piano?) is split down the middle so it is un-tune-able. Oh, and we named the guitar "Tuneless Tina." Let's just leave it at that.
And I would make apologies for being so weird, but I can never shake the feeling that is presumptuous. Because after all, no matter how strange you are, there's always someone moreso. Besides, we aren't being weird, we are only acting weird. And "weird" is completely relative.
But I still can't believe I'm posting this!
Monday, January 19, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Also known as "Adventures in Logical Fallacies"
The first Chronicle
The Second Chronicle
Penelope: (disdainfully) "You already asked me that question! I do believe you are going round in circles in your arguments."
Inspector: (indigantly) "I'm going round in circles? It is you who is confusing me."
Penelope: (matter-of-fact-ly) "I never take people around in circles. I infinitely prefer squares. With squares, you can corner people's words or back them up against a wall, and that is physically impossible with circles."
Inspector: (snappishly) "What about rectangles? Ha! You can't find a problem with those!"
Penelope: (haughtily)"You underestimate me, Inspector. Anyway, everyone knows that rectanglar gems are the most unattractive cut possible because they are usually emeralds. Peridots are vastly superior to them and besides, are almost always circle cut."
Inspector: (confusadly) "Wait, I thought you didn't care for circles!"
Penelope: (brightly)"You live entirely too much in the past, dear inspector."
Inspector: (Angrily) "Argh!" Lays head down on table for several seconds "Alright, where were we?"
Penelope: (sweetly) "We were speaking of the past."
Inspector: (stiffly) "Ah yes; the past. Where were you on the 23rd, around 7:00 P.M.?"
Friday, January 16, 2009
This is the first airing of the fantastic new show, "The Latest to Today Show." The Latest to Today Show exists to show you the very latest in music today. Surprise! (Hope you caught the sarcasm there and don't forever write me off as a repetitive writing writer.)
As Seventhhand Serenade: Ophelia
As her voice: Bracie
As the camera crew: Bracie
P.S. This video very well may have a distinct flavor of parody. Bracie heard fragments of this song on the radio and was struck by its... brilliance.
P.P.S. I have plenty more of these episodes up my sleeve, (Featuring New -and- Exciting Artists!) that is, if anyone so desires to see them.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
And now, the moment you haven't really been waiting for but will still enjoy...
A GUEST POST FROM BRACIE!!!
Will ya'll PLEASE comment. If not for Ophelia, do it for me (I'm looking at you with bambi eyes, right now). PLEASE! Libby, your wonderful commenting efforts have been seen and appreciated (I polish her halo).
Brother Giles just told me I should put a picture on this post, because nobody ever looks at blog posts unless they have pictures. So here are a couple for all you wonderful blog readers--
I feel so exposed.
I just opened up, for the whole world web web to see, the entire contents of my-gasp!- computar folder labeled "Grace's pictures." My secret life as a computar nerd (not to mention US History geek) is now no longer underground.
Please COMMENT and tell me that my exposure was worthwhile.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
We ladies at my house dedicate much time and effort to the perfection of our lustrous and beautiful locks.
Hair is a pain, a trial, and a great tribulation around here, for all of us. Today as I did my schoolwork, I could here Milo screeching while Mom cut his hair. Giles' haircut is going on at this very moment; his face is drawn in an expression of anguish. Last night, I attempted to brush my hair; a venture which resulted in nothing but frizz and screams of agony.
On the particular day this picture was taken, I thought it would be "fun" to try and see what my hair looked like straightened. The (very, excruciatingly painful) process took nigh over an hour. It was, to put it mildly, not an experiance to be repeated. So now I never straighten my hair.
During the summer, I once on a Saturday put my hair in French braids and then I went swimming. Big Mistake! I couldn't get those nasty braids out until the next Friday. So I don't French braid my hair.
My main problem is that have a very tender head. The slightest stroke of a brush produces bellows enough to rival those of a howler monkey.
What do I do with my hair? I wish we were all born bald. Perhaps in Heaven we will be. Can you imagine having to brush hair out of your eyes while you bowed in homage to the King of kings? I don't think so. Or maybe in Heaven hair will never tangle and I'll only have half as much as I do now. That would be a blessing.
I'll explain. One morning last March, having an I-don't-care day, I slapped a beanie on my crown and jumped in the car as we were running errands on that particular day. Like usual, I wore a pair of comfy, faded blue jeans. The air had a bite to it, so I pulled on my well-broken in grey hoody. I stayed in the car most of the time, but when Mom approached the coffee shop, she told me to hop out and take Ava to the bathroom while she went through the drive-thru. I did as asked, and then I walked round to our van, which was at the last window of the drive-thru. I opened the car door to put Ava in her car seat when I heard a startled gasp.
"Ma'am! The cashier said shrilly through the window, "some person is trying to get into your car!"
Mom turned around, slowly, slowly. "That person," she stated, "is my daughter." Then, I got in the car, and we drove away, quickly, very quickly.
Since that fateful day, I have never worn a beanie at a public place.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Such talent, such skill, it nearly brings tears to my eyes.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
I was considering the possibility of an opening sentence like, "Dogs, you just gotta love them," or "Here we see man's best friend," or something else cheesy and cliche like that. However, luckily for you, I have decided against it. Instead, I will start with...
Friday, January 9, 2009
Gentle readers, I am posting to call your attention to the my new poll. Actually, I'm not, and there isn't any new poll. It just so happens that I am in the mood to write one up. However, the difficulty is that I am uninspired. That is to say: I haven't a clue what query to make. So, if you think polls are jolly, suggest a question! (As if that made any sense.)
If not, ignore this post, don't comment, and feel your self to be superior over the poll-loving-masses.
Wait, are there any poll loving masses? Maybe the idea of voting on something only appealing to people before they are eighteen, and when they reach that grand old age, the joy of voting on something is tarnished. How sad. Perhaps I am the only person in the world who actually enjoys voting, and my impressions of the poll-loving-masses are misguided because the masses don't love polls.
Nevermind folks, you don't have to comment: I have just decided what to do a poll on.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Fritz, however, was not to be put out. "Well, sir, four mistakes then. Still, I spent an awful long time writing it, and I do think it's good, especially the part where the cowboy pulls out his six-shooter and says-" Fritz paused to give the aforesaid cowboy's words a dramatic entrance.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
For a whopping 10 days, me pooor mither (pronounced with a heavy brogue) hadn't had her voice. She could only whisper. This was right before Christmas, and one evening as we sat around the tree Mom decided to treat us with a sample of singing without a voice.
Bracie is lip-synchronising for her because like me, mom is camera shy. The only difference between us is that she is mom and can order us not to take her picture. *Sigh*
If you have ever seen Pixar's A Bug's Life, perhaps you can recall a short clip at the beginning in which an old man plays chess with himself. He alternates from player to player, switching chairs in turn.
In such a way did I play scrabble last night. Why? Because we had finished a family game of scrabble, and though MY enthusiasm was not in the least diminished, the other members were very ready to move on.
I lost. Did you know that I only received 16 points for the word, "sixteen?" On second thought, I guess that's fair.
I won. Did you know that it is possible to get 22 points for the word EGGS?
And I think I am finally going bonkers; solitaire scrabble indeed.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
At the present moment, I am blogging to try and forget about the piles and piles of thank you notes that I am supposed to write. Don't get me wrong: I love to write letters, I love writing, and I am very, very thankful. Yet I still hate thank you notes.
Why? Because all they ultimately say is "thank you." "If you don't write a thank you, they'll never know you're thankful," is the thought behind thank you notes I guess. However, when I give a gift, I take it for granted that people are grateful. So, either I'm incredibly assuming, or there is something wrong with the rest of the world that they have to write notes to be thankful.
And that brings me to another problem: What if you aren't grateful? Isn't it lying to write a thank you note? However, we will not go there; this is not a problem for me because I'm never ungrateful. Ahhhh, I am always such an angel.
P.S. If I actually wrote thank you notes to everybody I should, I'd get blisters and carpal tunneling. Wait, can you get carpal tunneling from writing?