My Grand Adventure...

So, I was innocently sitting in my ugly orange chair today, and as I was blogging...

Wait, That's too nerdy.

...and while I was eating an apple...

Wait, that makes me sound like a pig.
...and while I was reading an engrossing Soup book...

Wait, that makes me look like an idiot.
No, I was reading Don Quixote like I was supposed to, when

Predictably, my attention wandered, and I caught sight of my dear turtle P.T.(short for Pastor Tom) in his newly revamped tank. I got out the camera, and I was taking some pictures,


When I realized that there was something in the tank! I stared at the form in the water, and then I inhaled sharply. Was it my imagination, or could it be...
... a bottle? I stood, intranced, and then I took a closer look.
It was a bottle, and not merely that, it was a bottle with a message in it! This was beginning to smell like an adventure. I began to dream of a map that would lead to abundant treasure, or perhaps an tragic plea for help. I grabbed the bottle, despite the horrible risk of catching salmonella. (No offense, P.T.)
I reached in the tank, grasped the bottle, and pulled it up into the light.
After much difficulty with the cork, I managed to get it unplugged.
Inside was a paper, perhaps vellum. What could it say? There was no other way to find out than to take it out and read it.
After vigorous shaking and much difficulty, I finally managed to get the old, yellowed paper out.

I held the treasure map, or whatever it was in my hand. My face lit up with triumph and anticipation. Perhaps I would be the next Ben Gates on National Treasure or something. I carefully unrolled the paper, as though it was sacred,
... only to discover it was an advertisement for... EGGS! *To discover how I felt about having my adventure dashed to pieces, see the next two pictures.*

And, thus, the paper was removed from the bottle, and placed where it belongs. THE END