Monday, October 5, 2009

My Nemesis:

Is a device, crafted of metal and adorned with supposedly heat resistant plastic. However, it is not its looks that cast such terror into my heart-it is its dark and evil purpose.

For, when the authorities decide to inflict torture, they attach it to the wall, sending electricity through the long, thin wicked cord. The shocking currents heat up the device: first the cyndrilical brand, and then the pinching, cruel handle-thingamabob.

Then, advancing grimly, the operator, usually an executioner or some such person, snaps the handle thingamabob open and closed several times. The very sound chills the marrow of my bones. Yanking a lock of hair practically off my head, they feed it into the machine. Slowly, ever slowly, so as to prolong the torment, they twist the hair closer and closer to my scalp, until I am sure it will burn me.
Smoke rises from the lock of my hair, though they tell me it is steam, before the evil instrument is released. My hair, normally resplendent in frizzy-ness has been manipulated into a perfect curl.
But I resolve revenge! Beware all Curling Irons! I will come back someday and destroy you.


Gabby said...

Only you Ophelia, only you!


Jare and Lib said...

Tell me when you go avenging, for I will follow at your side.

For justices!
For the people!
For my own poor scalp!

(this gives me a idea about one of my own household-tool fears, you know what it is*wink*)

Evergreena said...

This is so funny, I almost fell off my chair!

I hate curling irons, but there's something I hate more... HAIR SPRAY! I always run when my mom takes it out of her bag of tortures. (a.k.a. make-up bag)

Bethany said...

O the hilarity. I laughed aloud. Curling irons are awful, I had my hair done by some over-zealous friends the night of my movie premiere [yes, really] and I cringed at both the curler ["THAT"S SMOKE!!"] and the hair-spray ["no-no! help!"]