Wednesday, July 29, 2009

The Dr. #2


If you have ever attempted to open a window with someone attached to it, in order to let the someone in, you will know it is a tricky business. The Doctor managed somehow, and the someone deattached himself and tumbled safely inside He stood up wearily, leaning against the wall, panting, for some moments.
Being a scientific man, and thus always making observations, the doctor used this time to gather a first impression. Fritz was immediately struck by the guest’s appearance as a model of human perfection. Classically, strikingly, dashingly, startlingly –whatever your preferred adverb may be- it must be followed by the adjective, “handsome.” However, the author is employing a double meaning in the phrase, “model of human perfection.”
The stranger was beyond what society would term, “short” and would be more accurately described as “miniature.” According to the Dr.’s highly accurate observations, he would have stood about 3 feet 4 inches in his stocking feet.
Silence had reigned in the101st floor until the stranger spoke, having recovered his breath.
“Have you got a rope?” His voice was surprisingly deep for one so small.
“Eh?” said the doctor.
“I said, ‘have you got a rope!’”
“A what?”
“A rope, man, a ROPE! Can’t you expend a few measly moments to help a man before his resolution fails?”
As the astute reader may have gathered, Dr. Batwinkler, though highly intelligent, did not possess outstanding communication skills, except when speaking of his work.
“Ahhhhg!” the stranger’s self control seemed to have broken. “Can you not see that there is no life for a man of my… stature? Jobless, friendless, there is no place in the world for me. I have made it, well almost, to the top of this building with every intent to cast my wee physique from it, if only to send my weary soul upward to great heights?” he whispered the last two words almost reverently.
“It would have been easier to take the elevator,” said the Doctor, impassively.
The dreamy eyes took on the expression of a frightened horse.
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhgggg! My woes pursue me. Please Sir, speak of mountains: I’ve climbed them. Speak of wild creatures: I have wrestled them, fought them, tamed them. Speak of caverns: I have explored the deepest of them. Speak of any fearful thing: it will not faze me, but I entreat you, sir, speak not of those mechanical tombs.”
“You mean, an elevator?”
The stranger drew in a shuddering breath.
“Yes. But you must assist me. I found, even as I mounted skyward to this grand building’s roof, that my stature failed my in yet another thing: I cannot reach the top. My arms are too short to grasp on the roof. So I have changed my means of destroying myself: I shall reach my end with a rope. Have you got one? Please?”
The doctor scanned his memory.
“Ah, yes, I do. He dances to music, as a bonus. You know, like a cobra. His name is Zither.”


Anonymous said...

You're so amazing!!