Earrings and bush survival

Bracie and I, thanks to Dad, have discovered a foolproof way to always be prepared: Earrings!
You read that correctly, I assure you.
Earlier today, Daddy remarked on Bracie's earrings, which are made of three tear drops of different metals in a layer, saying that if ever she needed fishing lures, she could simply use her earrings. Bracie, inspired, turn to survey my ear adornments. With a grin, she announced that the spheres of my earrings would be delightful bobbers, and that the metal hooks were the perfect thing for (of course) fish hooks.
That incident inspired me to look online in search of even more useful earrings. First of all, I found these: I will state that Bracie and my earrings are not as obvious.
Anyone who knows the first thing about survival will tell you that food is necessary to survive. I found these stylish, REAL chocolate earrings.

And to alert your rescuers, we have these marvelous mirrored ones:

This next pair cannot help you in any way. I just thought I'd throw them in with the rest for Gile's sake. Warmth also being essential, I have found this magnifying glass necklace. Sadly, I was unable to find any fire starting implement small enough to be an earring. Of course, it only works if you have sunshine. (The chain doubles as a fishing line.)


But I did find a thermometer to tell you when you need to start the fire. (And to see if the fish is done)


Finally we see this handy pair, which sharpened a bit, would be a great help in the bush. (To clean the fish)
(To eat the fish!)

So, utilize your ears! Always be prepared!
Note: I am afraid this post is predominately more valuable to my female readers.