I let my mind wander...

And it never came back.
I think I's is gettin' progressively dumber. The other day, I spent a half and hour just throwing small pine cones at the road from 100 feet in the air. (I was up in a tree)

Just today, I put my shoe on th wrong foot.

When I put a jar of OLIVES! back in the fridge, I absentmindedly set the container on top of the milk carton. ??? They, of course didn't like being set atop the shaky milk carton and hurtled toward the ground.

Where is my brain?
On the way to my speech club, there is a huge billboard with a picture of a girl holding a green laptop. As we drove by it in the pouring rain, I thought to myself:
"She ought to come out of the rain, or she'll ruin her laptop. Precipitation isn't good for electronics." Is that incredibly stupid or what? For goodness sakes, it was a big, gigantic BILLBOARD!

But at the same time, I think my reflexes are getting better. While throwing pinecones, I managed to get one in the back of a truck and one on the back seat of a convertable. From a hundred feet up in a tree! It was a moment of awesomeness that I didn't even know I had in me.
Now, when I fall out of trees, I usually land on my feet!
And after I put the wrong shoe on, I managed to tie a bow in under twenty seconds with only one hand! I'm proud. Okay, so maybe I'm not that proud.

Seriously, I CAUGHT the olives! There was no big mess of shattered glass for me to clean. Like lightenting, my lithe wrist shot out and snatch the olives from their impending doom.
(Can wrists be lithe?)
Of course, the billboard thing was just dumb. No getting around it.
So I don't feel too bad about growing progressively dumber if I can manage to have awesome reflexes.

Wait, what does "progressively" mean again?

A couple nights ago, Bracie was studying a book, How to Win Scholarships for College.

It was fascinating, I assure you.

Anyway, I was writing a quirky story, which completely absorbed my attention. Words tumbled out of my inspired mind like, uh, ink from a pen. I wrote so fast that I kept tearing the paper of my composition notebook with my pen's nib. Etc. Etc.

Bracie, who wanted to take notes but who had forgotten paper, said,

"Hey Oph, will you write something down for me?"

Me: "Mmmm-Hmmm." Still planning the next sentence of my story in my mind, I turned to another page.

Bracie: "Put down S.A.T.-"

Me: "Mmmmm-Hmmm"

Bracie: testing.org"

Me: "Mmmm-Hmmm."

Then, I looked down at my paper. I had absentmindedly written:

EssayTeaTesting.org

Yeah. Smart, huh?

Bright:

I have posted the following quotes that I might help inspire in you a great respect for humanity:

"I have a God-given talent. I got it from my dad." - Julian Wakefield, Missouri basketball player

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." - Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery.

"I cannot tell you how grateful I am -- I am filled with humidity." - Gib Lewis, speaker of the Texas House

"The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe." - Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia.

"Weather forecast: precipitation in the morning, rain in the afternoon." - Detroit Daily News

Some of our best and brightest:

"Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something." - Dennis Rodman

"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight." - George Gobel

"Solutions are not the answer." - Richard Nixon

In which we clean our room

So, today Bracie and I began the systematic dismantling of our room in order to switch bedrooms with my mom and dad. We came across some unnecessary artifacts and decided to dispose of them in a stress relieving, unconventional manner.

As usual, we had way too much fun.

Poetic Attempts

Some people; they play hard to get.
I'm playing hard to want,
And ain't nobody got me yet,
That is my challenge taunt.

I'll grow myself a uni-brow,
And pack some extra pounds.
I'll never cut my toenails now.
I'll always make disgusting sounds.

Perhaps I'll never brush my teeth,
Or use deodorant.
My hair will poof; a fuzzy wreath.
Yes, I'm playing hard to want.

The Country Bumpkins visit the Big City

The other day my parents decided to take us on an educational field trip to the King County Courthouse & sheriff's office, so we drove down to Seattle. I was pleased with the idea until we walked through the front door. Then, my spirits went down,

down,

down,

like a brick in quicksand. Wait a minute, that's a really lame, if accurate simile. Oh well.
Anyway, so what was the reason behind this sudden nose-dive off my spirits? I saw that in just inside the building was a metal detector! My eyes widened in fright, and I assumed the stance of a hunted deer.
Let me stop right here. Some people collect butterflies, some spoons, some post cards, some pretty china, and many stamps. What I collect triggers alarms when I pass through metal detectors, and it isn't spoons. I (along with several good friends who shall remain nameless) collect pocket knives. They are very practical and collectible.
"Mom," I whispered, worried that my precious knife would get confiscated like the last one (at an airport,) "I think I'll go sit in the car."
My mother did not take to the idea.
"Ophelia," she said, "This is Seattle, and I'm not going to leave you in the car. Besides, this is a family outing and we are going to stick together. Why do you want to stay in the car?" she began to ask, but then it was her turn to walk through the condemning metal arch. I watched Giles and Ava go through. No one remained but Bracie and me. I smiled at her weakly and faced the inevitable; it was my turn. First, I carefully placed my bag on the moving counter so that it would feed through the scanner. Then, I removed my pocket knife from, guess where, my pocket, and placed in on the tray. Bravely, I stepped through the metal detector and came out without setting off the alarm.

Just after I came through, my bag was sent into the depths of one of those, uh, bag scanners. I knew that my knife in the tray would set off the alarm, but as I waited, I heard the machine omit not one beep, but four! My spirits sank even lower.

Once again, let me stop. I like to wear dresses on nice occasions, but the problem with a dress is that there isn't a place on them to conceal a knife. So, being the ingenious problem solver that I am, I usually stuff a knife in my bag. This would be fine, except that I am horrible of keeping track of things, so I don't always take the knives out.

Anyway, so I stood there, my confidence sinking to rock bottom, and me wishing that I would melt. I knew what would happen. The scanner operator looked at me like I was a raving tearing lunatic.

"Did you know, young lady, that you have four knives in this bag?"

What was I supposed to say? If I protested and claimed that I didn't, I would have sounded guilty. If I had said yes, I'd probably be written down as some serial killer. So, I responded with a weak, "Sort of. Not really," which probably made me sound like both at the same time.

Luckily, I was allowed to keep my precious knives. You do have to give me credit because one of the "knives" wasn't actually a knife; it was a switch-comb that merely resembled a knife. I did feel better about bringing four actually knives and one switch comb into a court house because Bracie brought one too.

Mom looked on at poor me and laughed, exclaiming enthusiastically that we should take pictures. However, Dad was not pleased, and so unfortunately we have no accompaining photos. Maybe next time.

Blank.

Today, I opened up my blogging account and clicked on "create post." Then... I, I, I sat there and I didn't know what to write! My mind was blanker than a sea monkey. I frantically racked my brain for suggestions, "Uh, How sorry I am that I haven't posted? No, I'm not that sorry. How annoyed I am that I can't load a video? No, if I write about that I'll bore my readers."

So now, I'm writing about how I can't think of anything to blog about. Which is, if I really think about it, momentous. I can almost always think of something. Perhaps I have run dry. Horrors! Or maybe I just too tired from staying up until midnight for the last three nights.

I apologize for not posting lately. You see, I really have been busy because we have had out of town guests with daughters my age, which means late nights.

Every time I try to post, I try to post a video. I wait for a long time for the video to load, and then a little window pops up that says "We're sorry, contact us and include the following information blah, blah, blah." Somehow, since this has been happeing for the last month, I highly doubt that they are actually sorry.

I just posted about everything that I decided I wouldn't. However, I'm not very sorry. I wonder what this says about my character?

-Ophelia

Check out this unbelievable for sale flyer!

Several days ago, my mother was driving by a house for sale, and she stopped and grabbed a flyer. She didn't notice anything unusual about it until she started to read it in detail. It reads as follows,

Summit of Brilliance!

Exceptionally Beautiful!

Welcome to Cornerstone estates!

Paramount amoung it's peers there is no comparisons! Offering such finishes as Tarrazo, Marble, Wood floors, Alder doors, Granite, Wainscoting, an abundance of Crown molding, Viking appliances, 3 Propane fireplaces, Indoor sprinklers, surround sound, state of the art alarm/intercom system, all put together for extreme elegance! THe Ornate buyer still has time to pick finishes to their tasting. Enjoy 3.42 acres of serenity and delicate traceries of nature.

[over]

SVELTE ESTATE OF BRILLIANCE!

ELEGANTLY APPOINTED ON 3.42 ACRES.

STILL TIME TO PICK SOME FINISHES!

Offered at $1, 625, 000

• 
  
  4837 sq. feet.


• 
  
  5bedrooms - 7 bath


• 
  
  3 car garage


• 
  
  Gated entry with chic waterfall to greet your guests


• 
  
  Gourmet kitchen w/ viking appliances


• 
  
  Alder cabinets


• 
  
  Granite countertops, kitchen bar


• 
  
  Beautiful wood floors


• 
  
  Upstairs deck


• 
  
  Master suite


• 
  
  5 piece master bath with panache offering a soaking tub and tiled walk in shower


• 
  
  Private cedar deck backing to private greeneryPropane fireplaces with thermostats

Svelte Estate? Delicate traceries of nature? The Ornate buyer? There is no comparisons?

How could they let all those mistakes slip? And those I listed above are only a few of the flyer's faults. No wonder the housing market is failing.